Why can't I propose her !

'Freedom of speech and expression'  being a fundamental right in India neither helped me to express my feeling towards her nor let me speak how important she is to my life. Oh! wait , No ; I am not talking about Intolerance here nor I am politicizing my already complicated life into a convoluted one.

She quenched my thirst with her lips to take my soul to the heavens. I could feel her breath, her warmth persuaded me to hold her hands. "I think ; I am in ....", she closed my mouth with her hands not letting me to complete the sentence."Don't spoil this now", she said. That was when it felt like falling from the cloud nine and hitting the deck so hard.

She created barriers all around her ,not that I don't have strength to break free. But I would prefer not to hurt an iota of her feelings. Her deceptive smile often conceals the complications,she is been through. Nevertheless her eyes speak volumes, they are so deep and hide whole lot of story. I can see those tears which no one can see.I am sure, she must be crying deep inside. Enrique was right " I don't know why, why but I love to see you cry ... ".

She wants me to be with her as a friend forever. I am like inside ' We are just friends!, what are you saying ? '; but nodded my head much to her liking. Most eloquent speaker,she is, becomes epitome of silence while it cuts to this topic. I am sure there must be wonderful soul deep inside , not that I can't unleash it. But I am afraid if she don't want to let me do.

"Someday, I may say her , how it feels when she is around or Maybe not !
 Someday, I may tell her, what she is to my life or Maybe not !
 And someday, I may express how much I love her or Maybe not ! "


-Bhanu 

How can I say HER

I woke up to the air hostess announcement to fasten the seat belt , it was landing time. City, which offers traffic even in  the mid night, its a long drive to her place. Despite my overwhelming excitement , I knocked her door hesitantly. She opened the door with a soothing smile, much needed to calm my nerve. Then came, that big hug made me realize how I wasted my entire life. May be it was as warm as in the mother's womb. 'How can I say her that she took away all the pain with that hug'.

Next day we drove to this supposedly coolest place. In the late November, there were no surprises, jackets on and blankets over the head . Her smoky voice raised to the occasion to break the tranquility . She was so pure like a flower, just blossomed. It felt like I received first rays of new days's sun. 'How can I say her that I can't resist myself not to stare at her'.

'Haldi ya Mehendi' , she always got it right . While she shows the world her mehendi sketch delightfully. She never realized it was her, who brought the beauty to the sketch. 
When DJ turned it on, she was the rock-star of the uptown. She danced like a river without stoppages. In a overcrowded place, all can see was her in slow motion. While she was upset that I was offbeat 'How can I say her , I  was dancing to the rhythm inside which beats for her '

On the event day , I was searching for her all around like I was searching for the seat in Delhi  metro. She turned up in the ethnic wear, still not sure whether that song played inside me or in the hall." Aankhon Mein Teri Ajab Si Ajab Si Adayein Hai  ♫ ♫ ♫ "  She checked with me  with her eyes to confirm that she looked OK .' How can I say her, she was the most adorable one I had ever seen '.

She called my name to make me recognize that I got the sweetest name in the world . Numerous selfies , priceless expressions ' Oh boy! that smile, can make terrorists preach peace'. She rushed to me check the photographs on the mobile.'How can I say her, I captured  every moment through my eyes to make best memory of my life '

She got all the ears, when I spoke my heart out. She teaches , she argues , she takes me through her memory lane . While she sheds a tear 'How can I say her , that could probably start a Tsunami in the Pacific ocean'.

Time had finally come to end this journey. She saw me off with a huge hug  asking me to grow up. 'How can say her , I want to live in there forever '........

"Emotions fade.. But not the impressions created by them".


_

Bhanu